The Pain of Losing a Loved One

In Loving Memory of My Mother, Damiana Arriaga

My name is Betty Nielsen, the founder of Freedom Quilts. Soon the 10th anniversary of 9/11 will hit us all again, and the 10th anniversary for Freedom Quilts will be coming around the corner also. When a quilt is presented to a family who has lost a love one -- whether it's 9/11 or fallen soldiers' families -- I try and write a letter to the families letting them know how our hearts hurt for them. Never do I try and act like I know and understand this pain that the families go through because I know I don't, and I would never want to pretend to. It would be an insult to mourning families if we say we understand when we don't. Only those who have walked those shoes understand.

On May 14, I received the call to come to Ohio because my mother was in ICU. I had no idea it would be to say my good-byes. My mother never opened her eyes, and on May 16 she died. I never got there in time to tell her I loved her and to let her know how much she meant to me. I don't know if my mother heard me or not. We think we have all this time to say how much we love someone, but we don't. Time is short.

I never wanted to be on the side of being comforted. I wanted to do the comforting, and I have -- for almost ten years until my mother's death. The pain is too much to bear. You're numb and feel you have no love to give anymore or feel nothing. Your heart feels like it's been ripped out of your chest, and you just don't care if you live or die. People talk to you and you may say yes and don't even know what you're saying yes to. Little things make me break down and cry. You try to be strong but you have no strength. You try taking one day at a time because you know you can't handle anything more. Faith is the only thing that keeps you going because you believe they are in a better place now -- no more suffering, but it doesn't stop that heart ache.

I have a little more understand what the families are telling me because I have walked in those shoes, and they are shoes I wish no one would have to walk in. Mothers are special and very important in our lives, and when they are gone we have no one to call up and talk to about things that only a mother can understand. A mother's love is not a love that can be replace, and when she gone you are totally empty inside.

I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends that are great with me and are helping me deal with this pain. I have my good days and my bad days. Tonight I went over to my friend's house and we had a wonderful time, but when I came home I thought of my mom and the pain started all over again. Some say time heals all wounds, but I have talked to many that say the pain is still there. They just learn how to hide it from others because people think you need to move on. There is no set time when you stop mourning your love ones. There is no set time when you can say, okay I won't hurt anymore because everyone is telling me I should be okay. You know you have to continue with life, but it doesn't mean it will be easy. There is a huge hole in your heart that will not mend.

More than ever, I know that this project means a lot to families who have lost a love one, so I have to be strong and pick up the pieces and continue. I know my mother would want me to do that. She was the one who taught me to reach out and help others. She always had time for everyone and was good at helping others.

In Memory of a great mother and wonderful Christian woman, I was blessed to have her as my mother and now I need to make her proud and continue this project and bring comfort to those who mourn the loss of a love one. Faith is what keeps me going when all I really want to do is give up, but I don't want to cause this pain to those who love me. For those who haven't taken time to say, "I love you mom," take the time and do so for you never know if that would be the last time you get that chance. Don't wait until it's too late.

Freedom Quilts Receives Steel and Soil from Ground Zero

Through the years, have dedicated time, love and compassion in our goal to assure every 911 victim's family receives a quilt in honor of their loved one. In return, so many of these families have reached out to us and have given us the warmest of thank you's.

We are also deeply grateful to have received some very special honors. We were honored to add our stitch and help repair the National 9/11 Flag that was found at Ground Zero. The National Memorial Museum of 911 accepted one of our5 original quilts -- War Paint -- to be on display at the museum. And, we have been deeply honored to receive an urn of soil and a piece of steel from Ground Zero.

We cherish the kindness family members have extended to us, and we keep these sacred items on safe display so visitors to the Freedom Quilts shop can remember... Remember the lives that were lost on 911 and remember the need to comfort those who have lost a loved one.

The Battle Cross: Remembering the meaning and importance

On April 2, 2011, Freedom Quilts hosted a special memorial event at the Freedom Quilts shop in honor of three soldiers and one 9/11 firefighter’s family. During the ceremony, a Battle Cross Memorial was performed in honor and memory our lost heroes.

Perhaps you've seen the Battle Cross before -- combat boots, a rifle, helmet and dog tags. But were you aware of the meaning behind the Battle Cross?

When a serviceman or woman is lost in the battlefield, it has become customary to arrange their rifle pointing downward along with their boots and helmet. Surviving members of their squad gather around and memorialize their fallen comrades. Some of the troops will pray, others might recall personal stories, but make no mistake, this is a ceremony that is taken very seriously. Every soldier knows the next ceremony might be for them.

When a rifle with bayonet is downward into the ground, it is a memorial of a soldier killed in action. It also signals a time for prayer, a break in the action to pay tribute to our friend and hero.

Dog tags identify the soldier's name so he or she will never be forgotten.

The helmet is also a symbol of this great sacrifice.

Combat boots represents the final march of the soldier last battle.

May we stand together in honor and memory of our fallen heroes.

National 9/11 Flag

What an honor to be told that you are one of the Iowa Heroes and you get to actually put in your stitch on the flag. Freedom Quilts was given that honor on Feb 24th when the National 9/11 flag came to Eagle Grove. For nearly a decade Freedom Quilts has been making quilts to comfort families and it all started right after 9/11. The honor of putting a stitch on the flag that was found at Ground Zero all torn and now going to all 50 states to be restore was a true honor. Freedom Quilts not only put a stitch on the quilt but help others put a stitch on the flag also. We are all restoring the flag which makes us united a reminder to us all that when we stand united we can also restore our country. The flag is a symbol of how great we can be when we united something we should never forget. Freedom Quilts is no heroes we are just a group that band together to bring comfort to 9/11 families then flood victims and now fallen soldiers families.
April the 2nd we will be honoring some Iowa soldiers families.

2011 Raffle Quilt

For those that are interested contact us about our raffle quilt. It is a queen size quilt and very patriotic. For every $25.00 donation that you make we put your name in the drawing.

Gift from Iowa to the families of 9/11

Iowa has not forgotten quilt is design so as many Iowan can sign the quilt before we take it to New York to present to the families of 9/11. We are charging $5.00 for your signature that will help continue buying fabric and supplies to continue the project. So far we taken it to Alta, Varina and Sunday Fonda. It's schedule to be taken to Spencer in the end of April and first part of May. Plan are being made to have it come to Boone. If anyone is interested and want us to come with the quilt then please contact me at debeniel@ncn.net and we will come with the quilt and hopefully have many signature. What a gift for the families of 9/11 to see all the signature from Iowan show that they care. Again anyone that would like Freedom Quilts to come to there town contact us and we will come with the quilt. Oh I did forget there is two other towns Sioux Rapids which the quilt will be in there town on July 30th and Storm Lake on the 4th of July.

Gift from Iowa to the 9/11 families

2010 Freedom Quilts Raffle Quilt Winner

For the pass four years now Freedom Quilts has been making one quilt to raffle off so we can use the funding to make quilts for our fallen soldiers families. This is one way of raising money. Last year our winner was Leona Babb from AZ this year winner is Virginia Carlson from Storm Lake Iowa. Freedom Quilts theme is always Patriotic and this year was no different just different design. We are already planning our 2011 raffle quilt so we hope many more would join in see if you would be lucky and win. Thanks to all that helped without your help Freedom Quilts would not be able to do all that it does for families. God bless you all

Freedom Quilts Mural

Our artist Kate was kind enough to draw a mural that will overwhelm you when you see it. It came from the heart with lots of love for the families of 9/11 and for our fallen soldiers families. Our shop is open by appointment on which you can see this beautiful mural along with other things we have and stories of how Freedom Quilts came about and why it must continue.

2010 Raffle Quilt

Again we plan on making a raffle quilt help continue this project making quilts to comfort fallen soldiers' families. For every $25.00 donation Freedom Quilts will add your name to the drawing help make this a success so we can continue to help other families.

Legion Riders helping Freedom Quilts

Legion Riders men and women that at one time serve their country and continue to do so for the families of our fallen. Their task is one of pain for they are the ones that come with their motorcycle to protected the families from protester at funerals. Today was different they got to honor the families one more time but this time they help by saluting to the families of our heroes as they walk inside the Freedom Quilts Shop for the presentation of quilts. They presented some quilts to the families and got the honor of witnessing the beautiful quilts that was made to reflect each family love ones. The day was beautiful so the Legion Riders came with their bikes one was sweet enough to give one of the mother a ride in his bike.

April 11, 2010 A Day to honor Heroes

Berkley loss her son other parents also loss sons Bill who loss his son a hero that received the congressional medal of honor, Bill and Liz loss their son Arlene loss her son, Norma one of our Freedom Quilts loss her son two month later loss her husband and then her sister, Father Gene loss his brother Father Ed to cancer, and Crystal and Dan loss her son. A very emotional day but a day that gave the families hope that this country will not forget them. The quilts were all personalize to honor their beloved love ones.

Even more pictures to share of April 11, 2010

More pictures to share April 11, 2010

We honor families of Gehrig, Murray, Schiller, Feistner, Webster, Smith, and Hayes

Freedom Quilts took time on April the 11th to honor heroes and their families. It was a beautiful day to respectful honor them all. Freedom Quilts had honor families of 9/11 and fallen soldiers making it 6,777 quilts given to families.

2 big Events

April will be a busy time for Freedom Quilts we are getting ready for two event one for a wonderful dear friend that loss his son Jonathan Ielpi. Lee is coming to Iowa and thanks to the Iowa Firemen Association they will be setting everything for the event all Freedom Quilts need to do is show up with the two quilts. One quilt is to honor Lee son Jonathan the other is for the Tribute Center which by the way anyone that goes to New York needs to take time to go and visit the Tribute Center a must.

The second event is for our fallen soldiers families. We will be having the Legion Riders present to honor the families and we will be presenting the quilts to the families on April the 11th. We have a mother that is coming all the way from Dallas Texas to be here for the event. Normally we mail the quilts if they are not from Iowa. Kings Pointe is going to be kind enough to let the family stay free for one night to honor the families. We will post pictures of the event on both this blog and flicker site for all to see. I'm excite and can't wait embrace the families. It will be a day to remember a time to reach out with loving arms and let the families know that we care.

27 more quilts sent out

Even with the weather not being nice it doesn't stop us from trying to send out quilts to the family of our fallen heroes. This time we got 27 quilt all done and sent out. I'm working on another shipment of quilts to send out to families. Thanks to all that help out. We are getting ready for our big annual raffle quilt this year we hope we have alot of people join in and donated for this cause. It will help continue our work in making quilts and getting them out to families.

UPDATE on Previous "Cautionary" Blog Post

In December, I blogged about a cautionary update involving a quilting group based out of Wisconsin. The purpose of the update was to dispel confusion related to two different organizations with very similar names and missions. Here's what I explained in the blog post:

It has recently come to my attention that another quilting group based out of Wisconsin is calling itself "Freedom Quilts". Please know that this Wisconsin-based group is not affiliated with our group Freedom Quilts, Inc. The organizer of this Wisconsin-based group lost her son in Iraq. True to our mission, we reached out to her and made her a personalized quilt in honor of her son.

A photo of the personalized quilt we made later appeared on the the Wisconsin group website. Much of the confusion surrounding these two organizations stemmed from a lack of proper attribution and credit for the online posting of this personalized quilt.

Because both groups have the Freedom Quilts name, it is kind of confusing to people as to whether Freedom Quilts WI Sisters is part of our group. The answer is no. The Wisconsin Group is a group that reaches out to the families of WI and truly does a great job of helping those families that are hurting. We do it on a bigger scale and started this project back in 2001 reaching out to families all over the world. While our organizations are not affiliated, we both do our part to help others.

After all is said and done, my hope is that two helpful outcomes may arise out of all of this...

1. That more people come to learn that there are many of us who believe in the power of comforting another with the love and dedication that comes from a quilt. Freedom Quits, Inc. out of Iowa and the Freedom Quilts WI Sisters are two wonderful organizations that make this dedication a reality.
2. That more people will have a greater understanding of how to properly attribute, or give credit to, another's work. Online communication makes it amazingly easy to collaborate and share. But, it also means that we need to pay special care to respect copyright laws. Adhering to copyright laws -- when you boil it down -- is really pretty straight forward... obtain permission before copying, posting, or reproducing another's work and include proper credit.
   

26 more quilts sent out

I'm happy to say we sent out 26 more quilts to families. Working on trying to send some more for families. This project is truly a labor of love. Every single quilt is made with love to comfort the families that mourn the loss of their love ones. We are also getting ready to send out our fundraiser letter hope we can get help so we can continue. Your contribution kept us going last year we hope this year we will be able to do the same.

61 quilts sent out to Fallen Soldiers Families

Well we have had some year with harvest being late winter storm and all. Today we decided before we end up with another winter storm to haul off to Fedex 61 quilts for fallen soldiers families. The quilts had been ready to go for some time but we couldn't because of the weather. God is good he gave us an opening so we can get these quilts out. The car was full and so was the truck of the car but it felt so good to have them sent off. Dennis did the stacking I could never get that many stack in the truck or back seat of the car. Alot of thanks go to the ladies of Oskaloosa who came to my aid when I ask if they could help with the children quilts. We had families where we had to come up with either 2 or as high as eight quilts to a box because of the children. With out the Oskaloosa ladies I wouldn't have been able to get the job done. Now I have to get busy again so I can send another bunch of quilts out to families of our fallen. We are proud to say we are close to 6,700 quilts given out. We will soon be working on our fundraiser yes I got the quilt top all done and Dennis will be machine quilting it. He does an awesome job quilting so he has that job. We still tie quilts but the ones with pictures we machine quilt and if Dennis has time he will quilt those without pictures also but mainly pictures quilts are the ones loves to quilt. Happy New Year everyone. Thanks everyone that have continue to help us out your wonderful.